God's Healing Hand

I would like to tell you how God pulled me out of the hole I had dug myself into. I had never had a good relationship with my dad, we just didn't get along no matter what. At one point in my life everything seemed to keep piling up; my grandma was slowly dying of cancer, my relationship with my dad had gotten worse, I was sick of constantly getting picked on in school, and I had no relationship with God; I just wanted it all to be over. I started to fall into depression. I couldn't take it anymore. I started cutting myself and I thought about killing myself. Luckily I never got the strength to follow through. Eventually I was able to get help and I was able to stop cutting.

That anger never left me though; I was angry at what I had done. About a year later I had heard a voice in my head saying, "You deformed the body I gave you," as you can probably imagine, that made me feel awful!

This past week I was on LEAD, which is an amazing retreat at Franciscan University of Steubenville. On Tuesday night we were talking about past hurts, we were given a piece of paper and I started making my list. As I was kneeling, I put my hands in front of me and close my eyes and Jesus is there! I could feel my hands closing around His hands. He was there with me! In that moment I realized He had always been with me! He holds my hand everywhere I go;it's like the footprints prayer, He's been carrying me my whole life. I just never realized it! After that I was able to offer up my hurts and give God my life.

Ever since that night I have been on the road to healing. It wasn't easy to let go of something that has been hurting me for so long, but I know God is helping me through it. God pulled me out of everything that was weighing my down, I know He can do it for you too! Trust in God, great things will happen!